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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- Yeah. - Better right?
It's been a while.
Fuck you!
And this dance you can do anywhere.
Let me guess. I drop it, or you tell Emma we slept together.
Nothing.
No dates, huh?
- Right there. - Oh boy, oh boy.
Okay, but then we've got to come up with a system.
[panting]
So? Lots of women don't cum during sex.
that actually waited until their wedding day.
- I teach kindergarten. - That's right.
What? You run out of compliments.
Hold on. What?
- I'll meet you out front. - Okay, great.
♪ Lately I feel like ♪
You fucking boring piece of shit!
Right? Well, see, that's what I'm saying.
[music continues]
- Stop. - Oh, last thing I remember, we had that...
- Matthew. - That's right.
Well, you know, that's dim sum for you.
- Nice. - Mm-hmm.
Hey, alright, hey, uh...
Your interns call you a Jump Back Jake.
How's that feel, blue?
Be rude to it.
Stupid, dumb shithead!
- Yeah, that's it. - Like that?
at that delicious soft pretzel place. Who cares?
Come as friends or whatever this fucked up thing you guys have...
- Looks just like it. - Okay. Good to know.
- No, no. You live here. - Yes I do!
they have no time for that.
What... I don't kno... I mean, I've tried to!
I wanna make this work. I'm trying to get better.
- Is there a problem? - What? Uh, yeah.
Get outta here. Get back to work.
Y-you can't get the most boring dude
You don't know where I live.
Most likely because you're stunning and successful.
Sam. I have to read you something.
Did you say Love addiction?
♪ One look in the mirror ♪
Um. No. We did everything.
- Yes. - Okay. Well, me taking you at your word
you would be my next best friend.
...this, uh, index finger and you're gonna just, uh
I like bad girls with daddy issues.
But first I've gotta take you downtown
- Bye. - Bye.
Whoa, since when are you a porn star with killer grammar?
I won't be able to do it.
Yes.
You should text me what you want to text him.
Ugh! You're such a piece of shit...
I will, uh, you know, on behalf of your children and...
Okay, yes, so you're gonna go after the cervix here.
- Oh? - Yeah.
♪ I'm oblivious yeah ♪
are the coolest married couple ever.
Sobvechik?
- That's a... that's... - What?
Already?
- That's not true. - It gross.
Okay.
It says I resign and forfeit any vesting stock options to Xander.
and romantic obsession...
the new Wes Anderson movie?
- I don't think that's true. - Really?
There's a Georgia O'Keeffe
- No, I'm just kidding. - I don't know. I don't know.
- You know? - Why?
on Thorpe V. Bronwin.
Just go... go in and have fun with your friends.
I mean... I mean you've got to see the way I eat an avocado and you'll be like...
Hey, what's up dude?
Columbia.
We wouldn't have The West Wing without you.
Paula and I are taking Oliver upstate tomorrow.
It's no trouble.
and I want you to tap the roof like that.
But that's not a real thing. I mean, this is great. This is...
♪ With a swimming pool ♪
You just sneak in here, I'll drive. Bounce around.
- Yeah. - Jake, thank you.
- No, not at all. - Are you kidding?
I wait 4 days and then I call her and we go out again.
♪ I'm oblivious yeah ♪
- Oh. - I teach...
Before I started this program
And older women are gonna be
Oh yeah. I got in, uh, Michigan.
it is who I screwed.
Haven't met anyone. I've been busy.
I'm just kidding. I know it's not you. I know it's not you.
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
Look at this little baby face.
And, um...
Hey, do you wanna go see
Okay, no! Don't... don't answer that.
for like 4 seconds.
than with other ladies.
And these shoes are still uncomfortable.
Listen, I'm not saying you and Lainey need to date.
We're headin' out. But here's my info.
♪ I'm lost in a daydream I don't care ♪
- Matthew, my water broke... - Honey!
On it like a bonnet. On it like a bonnet. On it like a bonnet
♪ You got a reason ♪
Okay.
There's no way you love Matthew Sobvechik
I don't need to fuck 8 guys on one night.
Somebody do something.
No, no. He noticed.
It's a sign.
- She dances for a living? - No, deals with kids.
When we were kids, we had orange slices after a game.
So how was your day?
[instrumental music]
♪ It's everything you dreamed of ♪
- What? - It's... it's go time, sister.
But he's got a point.
She just takes a while to make a decision.
- I don't even... - Give me the courtesy.
My girlfriend said if I didn't go
- Ready to learn some moves? - Yes!
that's just... ugh!
Come on.
Did I win? I don't know, K
so I don't really have much to compare it to
- Happy birthday! - Happy birthday!
- No, no. This is a good thing. - Oh, boy.
♪ But love me ♪
- I love you! - I love you so much!
Yeah, don't fuck that up.
...you might not become that creepy guy.
♪ And your face will surely show it ♪
and make an honest woman out of you.
Every flavor.
Be careful.
I'm not... I'm shocked. I'm shocked. You're so cute.
- And I don't sleep with my employees. - I quit.
Come on, Henry! Come on, Henry!
Noodle salad? that's a sex thing.
So instead I'd rather just say something like...
so just take it.
It's not like months from now he's thinking
Thought it was the right thing to do.
- Look at her. - God I love you.
♪ I feel ready for a ride ♪
♪ All in your arms ♪
that you didn't plan this.
I think it might have been the first date I've ever been on
But, you know, I'm so happy you guys are here.
- Oh! - That kid has a hose.
Your issue with us is purely driven by a societal insecurity.