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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
GARLICK: I'll work on that, sir.
It says so in the memo.
Five months in Saigon, my best friend turns out to be a VC.
You better not even come within range of anything that happens,
Let me put it to you this way. He's got this thing for Walter Brennan.
Right now, yes.
GARLICK: How far you think we've gone?
- Careful, you could put an eye out. - God, it's warm, huh?
Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather...
- Oh, what happened? - What happened?
- We must to ask the people. - Hey, it's no problem.
Our jeep gets blown off the road and his van won't start.
Now that I do, you won't turn the car around?
- Can you give me a minute? MP: Oh, okay.
shouldn't we keep the PC on the q.t., because if it leaks to the VC,
but I'd like to delve into something slightly more personal
- On anything in particular? - A lot of people went to the mat for you.
Get somebody good, The Beach Boys. Don't dick around.
How's it going up there? Adrian, it's not going exactly well.
Neko Musume: Linda dawg would be to cruel~ Chikn: ( barks )
[AS WITCH] Oh, I'll get you, my pretty.
Just cool your tongue, airman,
Big fucking deal.
The Vietnam conflict?
Tuan?
[AS LYNDON JOHNSON] Linda Dog would be too cruel.
- Are you crazy? - I might...
filling in for my buddy, vacationing Eddie Kirk,
- How about if what escalated? - The Vietnam conflict.
Freddie and the Dreamers.
CRONAUER: - A very well-hung Chihuahua.
Stevie Brass on WMSK Radio PREPARE TO POLKA, KIDDIES!
- When you burn your mouth. - Oh, gosh, yeah.
No, those behinds were designed
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, Frenchy.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, get out of here. Watch out.
Thank you, lieutenant.
I have arranged for an honourable discharge
Weather = current situatiin With continued hot and shitty in the afternoon
THIS WILL NOT LOOK GOOD\nON A RESUME
- The lieutenant loves to abbreviate... - And if you do...
Wait...
keep the PC on the QT
Thanks.
Kim Waiting for Robb…
That should be personnel missing luggage.
Why can't I read this? It's what's going on here now.
Eddie, sometimes you got to go out of your way to get into trouble.
I would, however, love to buy you lunch, maybe look at a family album.
I've wanted girls like that, but I've had trouble as a young child.
She's actually going home.
Hold on a minute, sir.
This, Cronauer, not a real baseball. It much smaller and harder than this one.
I’m waiting to DIE!
STUDENTS [IN UNISON]: Shit. MAN: Shit.
Gentlemen, what can I say but hi.
You look a lot like Hawaii.
HEY EARL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I have over 15 years command experience in this Army.
[SCREAMS]
Can we please not get into this right now? You're in the middle of a show.
They're having a great...
Sir, sir!
Take the ball, will you? I'll give you money if you take the ball.
- At ease. - Hell, we already are.
CRONAUER: I was wondering if you could do your Mister Ed, because...
Nowhere to Run To by Martha and the Vandellas.
[BICYCLE BELL RINGING]
How you doing? You could fly to Guam with those.
GARLICK: Heh-heh-heh. I like you already, sir.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Frenchy... You know, I really shouldn't kid Frenchy,
What's the difference between the Army & the Cub Scouts? The Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery.
HAUK: Sir, if it is my programming choices, I can change.
Come on, yes.
- Find anything? - No, I'll have to make something up.
Sir, the man has got an irreverent tendency.
We've gotten duffel bags filled with information
Da Nang me Da Nang me
You are not funny.
Okay, for now, suspend him.
God, is it hot.
It's a stupid thing to do, isn't it?
Yeah, me too.
Well, I had you there, babe, but then you lost me at the end.
So fuck it.
And you.
Take some chances once in a while, Edward. That's what life's all about.
MAN: Oh, my God!
CRONAUER: All right! Thank you.
[YELLS] Good morning, Vietnam.
- Right here, sergeant. - Thank you, sir.
You're wearing your best new suit.
Attention, shoppers. People, people, settle.
You're forbidden to read anything not checked.
You're pissing me off.
Anyway, he's the man that you don't want to aggravate.
I just wanna report the truth. It'd be a nice change of pace.
Yes, I'm sure that wasn't Walter Cronkite.
- General wackiness like that. - Falling down, that's a sight gag.
Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a waggon round up.
Barring any change in the weather,
Yeah.
Even encapsulated in two seconds, my life is dull.
I n the eight weeks he's been on the air, general,
Thank you for that constructive criticism.
Sugar and spice. Ha, ha.
Earl, oh, you again. No more fighting, okay?
If it isn't funny, then why did I hear you laughing when you typed it?
- Sir, you're not funny. Ask around. - Ask me.
- Airman Cronauer? - You got it.
He's currently wanted by the South Vietnamese police
How can some person look like a shit?
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Thank you. Is it true that you've actually...?
You know anything about this?
Talking out in the field today.
It says goodbye to everybody staying behind.
CRONAUER: Real homey, in an opium kind of way.
- It was a joke, sir. - Yes.
Gooooooood morning, Communication concepts!
Any movement on the Walter Brennan thing?
Whats the weather like in Hoedspruit?
It's 0600. What's the O stand for? Oh my God, it's early!
or a neutralist sentiment in South Vietnam.
Okay, which one of you guys is throwing his voice?
Heading north.
Here it is, coming for you now. Quick news flash.
SERGEANT: Move out. Go.
A conviction on a charge of treason against the United States
If it's being done correctly here or abroad, it's probably not being done by the Army.
I'm informing you that you're out of here.
She's beautiful and quick. Speed up, check her stamina.
[SINGING] Here she comes, Miss Southeast Asia
I also recognise your species of soldier.
Let's go whether it's a double or a daiquiri.
An incredible coincidence, some more songs.
If you say that, hey, some people in a car, some gypsies, they cut you off.
[AS LAWRENCE WELK] Thank you for that lovely tune.
Edward, don't you ever do anything that's not by the book?
Take you home. Safe now from VC.
Good God, help me. Work through it.
Nixon, Singapore, Lake Erie. Come on.
and good evening sounds too depressing.
[LAUGHS]
[SHOUTS] Anything! Just play it loud, okay?
You could put amphetamine freaks to sleep with this shit.