HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
DISCOVER
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
DISCOVER
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Hi, Maco. Thank you.
(SOFT WHISTLE)
EMILY: What does that mean? Oh, God.
Mom, why aren't you talking?
Oh! Okay. Do me! Do me!
What the hell is mergle fur?
and dangle a piece of meat in front of your throat.
(GAGS AND SPITS)
If you call this number one more motherfucking time
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
I'm not in a place.
I don't know any Spanish. I only know one word.
She's retired now
I don't know why I just said that.
Her asshole?
Be sure you check all the rooms.
Those were accidental.
♪ Take me to the party ♪
then all I'll have is you.
for top secret information.
And if something happens to them
start having red wine at night.
Anyway, your brother really cares about you.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I can't hold it anymore.
up in Rochester.
as an interrogation technique.
Oh, sweetie.
Mom! Look what I just found.
That I'm selfish or that I'm worthless?
Listen, I'm just gonna have to turn around up here
(SIGHS)
I've got a worm, Mom. I know.
(GROANS) Ma'am!
This is me. Thank you.
No, it's absolutely not!
I guess if you're, like, in New York,
EMILY: Oh, shit! Go, Mom!
Your poofy face will protect you.
before you draw any more attention
That would be so sad, because I'm an adult.
I said "Yo, Anne." No, you said "Joanne"
Let's just get us on the main road, please.
Now, this is Maco,
And I'm telling you right now
(MUFFLED) Please listen very carefully to me, sir.
I'm trying!
Oh, Barb!
But, actually, I can beat that.
Cure cancer.
Chicken wings for the ladies.
Now, see? What'd I tell you? Okay, okay.
You remember my platonic friend, Barb?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
I know what's happening.
Yes.
Oh!
Can't you just comfort me?
And my skirt's over my head.
Thanks, honey.
I've just spent the past few weeks in Koh Phangan.
Who said I'm not going on that trip?
Joanne would think about this.
Okay, how dare you!
and we will go on another adventure?
Come on.
You're not going to find that in Colombia.
Feel free to drink from any puddle you see.
was going to cut us up
to the fact that I don't know what I'm doing.
Here! I made them come here to get you.
Uh, no, I'm just here with, um
(CONTINUES IN SPANISH)
I always see about 12 rainbows.
Okay, honey.
Oh, my God. He's so mean.
Oh, I love you.
It's not possible, Emily.
so I want you to get real quiet, okay?
And then I'll try it. I don't care.
Honey, you know, when I said that, I didn't mean...
Do you have husband?
You don't have any direction in life.
She's a woman. She has a vagina.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
What happened to your arm?
ZIP code. It's so far.
Wait! No, no, no!
♪ I will punch a baby bear in his shit ♪
Oh, my God.
I don't know. Probably.
You're gonna know all these people by the end of it.
and make that note happen?
Nope.
how soggy the wood was when I tried to light it?
I don't know. Wait, what?
if you're expecting to walk on out.
(GASPS)
Inspiration? No, pussy.
That's great.
Hey, honey, you're gonna break your toes in these.
Look where we are. Look where we are.
What's your last name, Derrick?
I definitely have to go back tonight.
That'd be great.
LINDA: Don't test me.
that I am reading a very compelling article
Okay. Thanks, anyway.
I'm breaking up with you.
chatting up another pretty young girl.
What the fuck?
No. The answer is no.
We're gonna get you out of this.
and I ask you
Tonight, I'm going back.
You talked to him. What'd he say?
EMILY: WOW. LINDA: Well
Right, so, I told her to contact me
Do you want me to make you feel better?
No! What are you talking about?
on this pilgrimage?
Yeah?
Oh, we're just coming up on a really beautiful view.
I'll tell you what it is. Okay.
Sorry.
Do you wanna dance?
Helping out the ladies. (CHUCKLES)
No, Mom! I want to stay with you!
(BOTH GROANING)
I've got 'em right here in my chi-chas.
Awesome!
Pussy.
When I just say anything just remotely critical...
Well, I'm going that way now.
Can I just use your phone?
Truce. Truce.
That's why I'm here.