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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
You're just another white lady who wants to adopt little charity orphans
Hi, Mom.
Oh, yeah, she's right there.
- Good night, buddy. - Good night.
Speaking of court, um,
Needs some work.
Now... Whoa, whoa! Don't waste it, all right? I want you to do me a favor.
you know you're not good enough and you are going to get fired.
Ew!
- Yeah. - All right. We'll set it up.
A Christmas tree?
Anyone ever starts shit with any of you, they have to deal with me.
Hi!
I want you guys to meet Pete and Ellie.
So this won't be child abuse. Pete!
She said... she can't do it.
- She didn't mean that. - I did not mean that.
You're gonna get some funny looks.
she's gonna hate us more than she does now.
I got you, um...
All right. Good night.
Time to erase these ideals right now.
I know it's Christmastime and you may have memories and things.
She does really well in school. Come on back.
All right. Just don't cry, okay?
I'm sick of looking at that. To hell with it. I'm going over there.
- Why are you doing this to me? - I'm sorry. No?
They made me deliver drugs for them.
You're right. You shouldn't be pushed into something you don't want to do.
Hi!
How do you know my uterus is perfect? We've never even tried to have kids.
I know you don't like this,
"If you don't show me something soon, I might lose interest."
Pretty soon I was 14.
Do you guys want to come in?
I saw what you wrote to her: "If you don't show me something, I'm gonna lose interest."
We're talking about crack babies and kids who have been sexually harassed.
- Come on. - Let's go get the box.
And it's not their fault! And they're not damaged goods!
or contacted her kids in over two years,
I'm gonna be honest with you, all right?
- It was the greatest thing I've ever heard. - I know.
I think we should take Lita to the lobby.
What am I gonna look like?
- These seats are saved. - Yeah, they're saved for me.
Oh. Sure.
- You're not allowed to take my phone! - What's she doing?
And they're moving from place to place, and they don't have anybody,
- There you go. You like that? - Yeah, that was good.
Jim, I say it's important to work out for somebody nice.
Really took me back to the good old days.
You told me to give you a few weeks to settle in.
- So... - No.
- Okay, okay, okay! - I want a Barbie!
And you're not that old.
- Hey, I never had a problem with it. - I think it's smart.
He just said you guys were never gonna have kids. Then you did a definite look.
It's nice to see Lita and Juan get presents
Is that still the case?
- We've got the pizza! - Juan, whoa, whoa. What are you doing, bud?
We'll be in the shop.
and you're a dead man.
Told you we'd make it. Stop it!
Thanks, you guys.
We're gonna call your mom, tell the principal, maybe even call the police.
Look at the way Lizzy's looking at her.
Lizzy!
- How 'bout that? - How 'bout that?
We wouldn't recommend this match if we didn't believe
- Okay, I love you. - I love you.
Juan started playing piano. Right, buddy?
Oh, no. Oh, God!
Do you wanna put posters on the wall, paint it?
Yeah, well... it's a little weird.
Does that mean Santa comes here?
Pipe down with that crap. We are not friggin' related.
- You must be Pete and Ellie? - Yeah, I'm Pete. Hi.
♪ And you smell like one too ♪
.... .....
Pretty much since the first night we met, right?
you: want pay now
- So now you think we're special enough? - Maybe we are.
So, you two went out and found yourself a teenager after all, huh?
Nor do I.
Well, then,
But why don't you calm down
- You can't hold it like that. - Hi, Mom.
Okay, everybody, why don't we learn your names
Karen, we've had plenty of fathers who have stepped up,
- I got you, buddy. I got you. - Get in, get in, get in.
Just an idea.
Really nice.
Yeah, thank you, guys.
These are really, really good potatoes.
Yeah, it's going pretty good.
And everybody feels sorry for us.
Yes.
- Okay. - Right this way, Dad.
Yes! I'm a little afraid to say anything, but yes, that's basically how we feel.
But I do love you both.
You listen to me, crazy woman!
Juan, Lita, this is Sandy. This is Pete's mom.
Hey. Hey, hey, buddy.
Then just give me 14 months to think about it. How 'bout that? Come on.
- They're amazing. - Okay.
- All right. - All right?
- Oh, yeah. - Hi. How you doing?
You got a T-shirt? You got a T-shirt?
Friggin' related.
- Better, yeah? - Oh, wow. Yeah. Thank you.
- Where's Lizzy? - Right there. See her?
Since Lizzy's mom has been keeping up with her reunification steps,
Wait, wait. So we would have... three children?
and remember...
And it looks like she's got a real shot.
That's what we do. We renovate houses. Ellie did all the design work.
Are we gonna turn her away because we're not special enough?
No, she's not lying.
Sometimes the universe thinks it's funny if I drop $26,000 on in vitro first.
but no matter what we do, Jake just wants to hang out in his room,
He doesn't need a phone.
She's 15. She's a terrible parent. She needs to be a kid.
All right?
- Are you saying that we should let her parent the kids? - Are you paying attention?
Yeah. This is what we do. We can knock that out in 20 minutes.
Was it all the funnel cakes we ate?
When's the part we cough up 12 grand to fix the rotted-out foundation?
It'd be like I got cracking when I was 36. How about that?
- Bye, Lizzy. - Have a great day.
What exactly is a dick pic?
The reason she's sitting away from others is because she has a family,
Yes, Your Honor.
- He's 22. - Yeah, I'm 22. So what?
These kids will test your will,